Oh I Do Like to Go Beside the Seaside

There isn’t a hope of soap

And where there should be toilet roll

There’s only a gaping sniggering hole

The toilet won’t flush (it’s not got a handle)

And as for the dryer – my goodness it’s dire

It wouldn’t blow out a birthday cake candle!

Half the sea is all over the floor

The light’s not lighting (or not any more)

It’s drenched in stench and stinky stuff and

The toilet seat is all covered in sand

How on earth can anyone cope

When there isn’t a hope of soap?




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