There isn’t a hope of soap
And where there should be toilet roll
There’s only a gaping sniggering hole
The toilet won’t flush (it’s not got a handle)
And as for the dryer – my goodness it’s dire
It wouldn’t blow out a birthday cake candle!
Half the sea is all over the floor
The light’s not lighting (or not any more)
It’s drenched in stench and stinky stuff and
The toilet seat is all covered in sand
How on earth can anyone cope
When there isn’t a hope of soap?