I’ve slept here for one hundred years
And only get a kiss? Well, cheers!
Don’t just stand there, gawping, rude,
You silly prince – I need some food!
It’s been a rather lengthy dream,
So come on, eh, some nice ice-cream?
A cake? A burger in a bun?
Oh really, prince, you’re not much fun!
And look, I’m dying for the loo!
There’s not much chance of wedding you
If all you do is stand and blush.
So get a move on, princey, rush!
Oo, look at you! A fair princess?
Your face is foul, your hair’s a mess,
And since you’ve been asleep so long
You need a bath; you really pong.
And hey – there’s fungi on your toes,
And antique bogies up your nose,
And while you may not look too old
Your fingertips are sprouting mould.
In fact, I think I might decide
To take a goblin as a bride.
They’ve got more manners anyhow
Than you have; you ungrateful cow!
Oh shut up, prince, you little creep!
That’s it – I’m going back to sleep