If you’re a witch a plain black cat
Is now old-fashioned, it’s just old hat.
Depending on what kind of hag you are
You might have a puma or jaguar,
Or you might fly round on a broomstick of iron
And keep on the end a fearsome lion.
A witch who’s mean and cross a lot
Might keep a tiger or ocelot,
While a witch who studies a lot and thinks
Favours a panther or wildcat or lynx.
A witch who’s cold and needs a heater
Snuggles up warm with a big spotty cheetah,
And older witches, with hair white and peppered,
Might keep a serval or bobcat or leopard.
In fact, if you keep a plain old tabby
It shows you’re dowdy and frumpy and shabby.
But what kinds of things do all fashionable witches
Keep to show off all their wealth and their riches?
The Queen of the Witches (you might have seen her)
Now goes around on a vacuum cleaner,
And directs it right to the door of her house
With a flick of her wand and the click of a mouse.