Christmas Crackers

Johnny was a greedy lad, the worst of little snackers,

And so it came as no surprise – he ate the Christmas crackers.

The silly boy, the little nutter, spread them thick with loads of butter

Then he opened wide his shutter, and, without a word of ‘please’

He grabbed a hunk of cheddar cheese,

Then down it went. John said ‘That’s nice!

These cracker things are full of spice!’

‘No!’ we all implored him, ‘Stop!

‘You can’t eat those – they’ll make you pop!

They must come out or you’ll be dead!’

I pulled his feet, Mum pulled his head.

Nothing. So we pulled some more,

Poor Johnny pinioned on the floor.

Then suddenly a clang! a clash!

There came a whizz, a bang, a flash!

And Johnny simply tore apart.

The doctor couldn’t find his heart.

She prodded him, she gave a poke,

But only found a dreadful joke,

A paper hat, a plastic toy,

But then, he was a silly boy.

So please don’t gulp and guzzle crackers – you might end up dead.

But stuff your face with Christmas cake and chocolate coins instead.






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