Archive for March, 2013

March 28, 2013

On Discovering Your Drink is the Most Delicious in the World

Slowly, slowly, slowly, sip

With hint of sweetness on your lip.

Then slippery drippery fountain spout,

And waterfall and pour it out

And glug and gulp and gorge and guzzle,

Swig and swill and slosh and schmuzzle,

Quaff and scoff and slip and slurp

And drain with one enormous



March 25, 2013


Once a man named Mr Bryce

Ate dinner at the Café Spice.

He shouted: ‘Waiter! Your advice?’

The waiter came back in a trice

(Or three whole hours, to be precise),

And on the plate, a single slice

Of Himalayan rain-fed rice

With garnishes of fine-shaved ice.

Mr Bryce began to dice

The ice with silver chopsticks (most concise).

He got the bill. Looked once. Looked twice.

And screamed ‘Good Lord, is that the price?’

Then fell down dead (it was not nice).

And so, here endeth Mr Bryce.



March 22, 2013

Anything Instead Time

It’s stand on your head time

Slide on your sled time

Guzzle jam and bread time

Juggle with your ted time

Paint the ceiling red time

Hide out in the shed time

Anything instead time

Of boring, boring bed time!

March 18, 2013

Checking In

At check-in a chicken is pecking and picking

His seats (he is travelling first class).

He says ‘I do feel that I’d like for my meal

Some worms, if they’re hidden in grass’.

He fastens his seatbelt, the plane zooms on up,

And he shouts to some birds passing by:

‘Hey, watch me go! You birds are so slow!

See, I told you that chickens can fly!’




March 15, 2013

Written While Gazing from the Window

What’s that blazing in the sky?

Yes, what’s it doing here, and why?

What could it be, this golden glow?

A spaceship? Help! A UFO!

It’s big! it’s huge! It’s round! It’s bright!

It gives a strange and warming light

In skies that otherwise are grey.

Don’t just stand there – get away!

It must be Martians! Quick now – RUN!


Oh actually it’s just the sun.






March 11, 2013

The Hungry Man and the Recipe Book

A man once found a recipe

For how to cook a single pea.

All ‘sauté this’ and ‘char-grill that’

And ‘trim the pea of all its fat.

Then leave five hours in marinade

Of saffron-scented lemonade,

And bake it with some donkey’s cheese

At quite precisely four degrees’.

The man read all. He scratched his head.

Then simply ate the book instead.

March 6, 2013

Never (just) Look at a Book – a poem for World Book Day 2013

Never just look at a book.

Feast on it, gobble it, skim it or scour it,

Drink in the pictures and words, just devour it!

Gulp it or guzzle it, soak up the art.

Find things you love and then learn them by heart.

Read it at school on in bathtubs or bed,

Read it while walking or stood on your head.

Think with it, question it, turn it around,

You might be surprised at the things that you’ve found.

Some things might bore you or flummox or faze you

But some will delight you and charm you – AMAZE YOU!

So next you’re reading a book that is good,

Do more than look at it; really, you should!

Go on, I dare you! I bet that you could!

No, never just look at a book.



March 6, 2013

Captain Book (a poem for World Book Day 2013)

Oo arrrh, oo arrrh, me ‘earties. Who do ye think I be?

I’m Captain Book, with a page for a hook –

It’s the library life for me!

I ride on the waves of the stories, the words put the wind in my sails.

I laugh and I cry, I smile and I sigh,

As I travel the world with the tales.

I can journey wherever I want to, through space or to country or town.

I zip and I zoom though I don’t leave this room;

Books break the barriers down.

Oo arrh, oo arrh, me ‘earties. What do you think we’ll see?

Open a book and then wonder and look.

Come, have adventures with me.





March 4, 2013

I Can’t Stop

I can’t stop, I can’t stop, I can’t stop now.

I’m going to get this done, and I don’t care how.

I can’t stop for dinner, I can’t stop for tea,

I can’t stop for anything at all – don’t you see?

I’m not stopping in the morning, I’m not stopping in the night,

As I’ve got to get this finished and I’ve got to get this right.

I can’t stop, I can’t stop, I can’t stop now.

I’m going to get this done, and I don’t care how.

I can’t stop for lessons, I can’t stop for school.

I can’t stop at any time, and that’s my simple rule.

I’m not stopping when I’m coming, I’m not stopping when I’m going.

And what can’t I stop? Why, I simply can’t stop