Writing for Children

(To be sung to the tune of ‘My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean’.  If you’re not familiar with the tune, simply leave out the optional chorus. And in case this isn’t blindingly obvious, this poem is written with tongue so firmly in cheek that the tip of it can probably be seen poking out of my ear).


Writing for children’s a doddle,

Celebrities do it a lot.

They’re just little kiddies who toddle,

So no need for story or plot.


Authors! Authors!

Writing for kids is a joke, a joke!

Authors! Authors!

Writing for kids is a joke.


It has to be cute; not too gritty,

And here, let me tell you a trick:

If you spend too much time it’s a pity,

As kiddies are all a bit thick.


Forget about thoughts or emotions,

Bunnies are all that they need.

Forget those ideas and those notions,

As kiddies, they can’t even read!


Yes, writing for children’s a racket!

In fact it’s an old piece of cake!

And once you’ve your name on the jacket

Just think of the millions you’ll make.





One Comment to “Writing for Children”

  1. 😀 All together now…!

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