On Tidiness

I’m a very tidy person, and I like to keep things clean.

In fact, I think my living room’s the best you’ve ever seen.

You won’t believe the time I’ve spent! To make it look this neat

I’ve been scrubbing all the grime and grub, and now I feel dead beat.

There were biscuit crumbs

And mouldy plums

And icky sticky chewing gums

And Lego blocks

And stinky socks

And shells and stones and sand and rocks

And balls of dust

And toasted crust

And pins all furred with bits of rust

And fairy wings

And plastic rings

And other bits of toys and things

All twisted up and bust and bent

You won’t believe the time I spent!

I’m such a tidy person, as tidy as could be,

But don’t you dare to look or stare beneath my old settee.

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