If your mum’s all mumbly-moany and the situation’s dire,
We’ve got the very thing to help: The Mumble Grumble Dryer!
Put her in, and watch her spin, then leave her for a while,
And soon enough (let’s hope she’s tough) she’s bound to give a smile.
Watch it tumble, hear the rumble, spinning, spinning, spinning,
Then take her out; without a doubt, your mother will be grinning!
But not too long; it might go wrong, as if she’s over-mixed,
She’ll look quite mad (though never sad), her grin all rictus-fixed.