Gran’s New Hip(po)

When grandmother fell and she wasn’t too well

And she stayed for a year in her bed,

She cried ‘A new hip!’ but the docs made a blip

And they gave her a hippo instead.

Oh what a most dreadful colossal calamity!

What an almighty mistake!

Our gran gave a scream, but she fed it some cream

And some crumbs from the top of her cake.

Then she climbed on its back (it was slippery and black)

And she gave it a honky old hooter.

‘See this hippo!’ she said, as she patted its head,

‘It’s my marvellous mobility scooter!’

She rode up! She rode down! She rode all through the town!

She said ‘This is so jolly, by jingo!’

She took it out strolling, to whist drives and bowling;

It proved a big hit at the bingo.

‘Oh dear!’ said the doctors (afraid that they’d shocked her)

‘We made a mistake with the op!’

But Gran said ‘No fears! I feel younger by years!’

And now Gran and that hippo won’t stop.

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