Archive for June, 2014

June 6, 2014


The fact that our house is infested with mice is

A terrible, terrible, terrible crisis.

We thought we’d use cats but they all gave us fleas,

So we put down some bait, but those small crumbs of cheese

Brought us cockroaches, rats and whole armies of ants

And small creatures that crawled in our socks and our pants.

So we took to our beds but they seemed to have bedbugs

(They nipped and they gnawed – they were very well fed bugs)

So please do excuse the disruption again,

But our house is infested with pest control men.




June 5, 2014

A Book at Bedtime

A quick response in verse to the comments about fairy tales allegedly made by Richard Dawkins


Don’t read kids books about dragons

And creatures that never exist,

Like gobbling hobgoblins and porridgey bears

And froggies that seem to get kissed.

Don’t read kids books with princesses

And always, yes ALWAYS be wary,

If you pick up a book and you take a good look

And you find that it has the word ‘fairy’.

There are all sorts of things that are better to read

At bedtimes and other occasions.

So need to panic – read quantum mechanics

And textbooks on cubic equations.

Such books, you will find, will soon broaden the mind,

And make your child clever and deep.

(They’re also so boring your brat will start snoring;

And you will fall quickly asleep).




June 3, 2014

The Flock of Stars

Oo look, I’ve gone all serious. Silly poems to follow soon.

There’s a murmuration of stars in the sky tonight,

Slowly, silently, taking flight

Across the vast expanse of dark.

Each one, as it makes its arc,

A dazzling song that echoes through infinity.

Be still. And then look up to see

The flock of stars as it makes its climb,

With beating wings, on the breath of time.