There Are Worse Things Than Baths

Just imagine that you were a cat,

And you had to wash all your body like that.

You know what I mean. Lick, lick, lick.

Cleaning the flecks and the flakes with a flick,

And the germs and the worms

And the grot and the grime

And the dust and the dirt

And the snot and the slime

And the pen-marks and paint

And the grease from your chips

And the yuckiest mucky stuff

ALL passed your lips.

Just imagine the taste and the texture. How foul!

You’d probably hate it and sit there and howl!

Would you still wish to wash with your tongue, like a cat?

A bath’s not too bad, when you put it like that.





3 Comments to “There Are Worse Things Than Baths”

  1. Revoltingly brilliant. A bath it is then!!

  2. Thanks! I’m afraid I haven’t got much poem-time at the moment, so apologies if I’m not posting much.

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