Vacuum Gran

Have you seen her? Have you seen her?

Granny and her vacuum cleaner?

All day long she zips and zooms

Throughout the house, through all the rooms.

Her stare is stern. Her glare is mean.

She says ‘I want this whole house CLEAN’

No dirt is safe, no dust can hide;

Her eagle eyes are open wide.

Gran looks in all the crannies, nooks,

The ceiling, shelves, the tops of books,

She checks for teeny tiny specks,

For mites and motes and fluff and flecks,

For every little bit of grit

In places that remain unlit,

She spies some spiders, spindly, black,

Then yells out loud ‘And now, ATTACK!’

So Granny turns the hoover on

She screams out, ‘Dust and dirt, BE GONE!’

It’s on full power. It starts to suck,

But then, oh dear! What dreadful luck!

The Hoover sucks the tables, chairs,

The floors, the doors, the walls, the stairs,

The rugs, the jugs, a coat, a hat,

(It even sucks poor Granny’s cat),

And then, when all is spick and span,

The Hoover sucks up dear old Gran.

Oh yes, she’s vanished in a trice,

But still, at least her house looks nice.









35 Comments to “Vacuum Gran”

  1. Brilliant stuff! A really fun poem – just the way they should be!

  2. Hi, I just started following your blog, and I must say, I’m glad I did. Super cute poem! It cheared up my day!

  3. hello, i’m new to blogging and what a great way to start by following your fun and cheerful poems, very funny

  4. This is brilliant, was the idea that obsessing about cleanliness too much doesn’t let you live? Or was it just to be silly? Either way the rhythm is great and it’s funny 🙂

  5. haha loved!!! this. Really got a picture of ol’ Gran!

  6. I like the humour in your poem

  7. Hilarious… My earliest memories are made up of poems like this one… Thank God I somehow stumbled on your blog…:)

  8. Ah, this is fantastic! Love it!

  9. i love it! I swear thats my mum 🙂 hope you don’t tell her I said that…hahaha

  10. Wow! Wow! You are humorous as well! The vacuum was use to vacuuming EVERYTHING, including granny! I love it! :)…Your poetry has a musical tone to it, a rhythm to it. Have you ever considered putting your amazing poems to music!? 🙂

  11. A funny lighthearted poem that made me laugh so glad i found your blog 🙂

  12. Beautiful n funny way to depict old granny Elli!

  13. Has a fun rhythm to it…the words dance and prance around in delightful creativity

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