Returned to Sender

I can’t stand big plump partridges,

I’m sick of all those pears.

And as for colly birds and hens,

Well honestly, who cares?

Those rings are wrong, and really, FIVE?
And laying geese? Come ON!

I never, ever want to see

Another flipping swan.

I don’t like milk – it makes me puke.

So why the maids and cows?

Those ladies cannot dance at all;

Please make them buzz off NOW!

I’m bored of lords a-leaping;

Yes, I just wish they all fall SPLAT.

The pipers make a dreadful sound;

It’s like a strangled cat.

Those drummers drive me round the bend,

They make me want to cry.

My ‘true love’? Huh! Don’t make me laugh!

I’m dumping you. Goodbye.

4 Comments to “Returned to Sender”

  1. Awesome! really enjoyed it, read it to Mr D and it made him chuckle too! thanks

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