Johnny was a greedy lad, the worst of little snackers,
And so it came as no surprise – he ate the Christmas crackers.
The silly boy, the little nutter, spread them thick with loads of butter
Then he opened wide his shutter, and, without a word of ‘please’
He grabbed a hunk of cheddar cheese,
Then down it went. John said ‘That’s nice!
These cracker things are full of spice!’
‘No!’ we all implored him, ‘Stop!
‘You can’t eat those – they’ll make you pop!
They must come out or you’ll be dead!’
I pulled his feet, Mum pulled his head.
Nothing. So we pulled some more,
Poor Johnny pinioned on the floor.
Then suddenly a clang! a clash!
There came a whizz, a bang, a flash!
And Johnny simply tore apart.
The doctor couldn’t find his heart.
She prodded him, she gave a poke,
But only found a dreadful joke,
A paper hat, a plastic toy,
But then, he was a silly boy.
So please don’t gulp and guzzle crackers – you might end up dead.
But stuff your face with Christmas cake and chocolate coins instead.