When standing in the snow and frost to write your prose and poetry
Remember that it has a cost: it leads to frozen toetry.
Original poems for the young at heart
When standing in the snow and frost to write your prose and poetry
Remember that it has a cost: it leads to frozen toetry.
The term ‘pudding olympics’ (i.e. where the only exercise you get is mixing a cake) was coined by my lovely fellow author Helen Dineen.
On you gas marks! Get ready, get steady, get baking!
Stirring and whirring your arms soon start aching
As creaming (while dreaming you’ll soon be the winner)
You whip up perfections of pudding for dinner.
Start whisking! You’re risking the strength of that muscle
But still you can’t stop; you’re determined to rustle
Up visions of glory in puds and desserts.
Keep going! Keep going! I know that it hurts
But now quick! All that pastry is kneaded and rolled
You’re winning! It’s bronze! No it’s silver! It’s GOLD!
The baking
Is over
You’re huffing
And puffing
Your arm’s had a
Workout
So come on
GET STUFFING.
‘I’m far from the sea’, said the fish in the tree,
‘But here’s the best place in the planet to be,
As up in the wind-tickled leaves of the parks
I’m safe from the slobber-juiced jaws of the sharks.
Up here it’s not scary; just airy and breezy
Though sometimes to breathe isn’t terribly ea…’
On the table
On the chair
In the hallway
Everywhere!
In the cupboards, in the dishes,
In the tanks with burbling fishes,
In my hairbrush, in my knickers,
Stuck on mucky yucky stickers,
Hiding in the food we eat,
Trailing halfway down the street,
On the tube trains, on the bus,
They’re following, they’re watching us.
A crowd of them! It’s mass migration!
Bent on global domination!
However much you hoover them
You never will remover them.
Evil Lil just loved to kill,
And so became a gladiator.
Lion said ‘I’ll bite her head’,
And nobody was sad ‘e ate ‘er.
No-one said ‘It’s not time’. There was no-one to say
‘You’re too young! Back to sleep! Wait a bit! Go away!’
As if winter, distracted, had turned a blind eye
To the warmth in the ground and the sun in the sky.
And so I get up in a tremble and rush,
And in their confusion the cherry trees blush.
Stretch paw
What’s this?
Angry look
Frightened hiss
Too cold
Too white
Too new
Not right
Bounding round the garden yowling,
Frizzy-tailed and grizzle-growling,
Inside
Shake fur
Fireplace
Warm purr
Not cold
Not white
Happy mew
Just right
Warning: This poem does not contain a naughty word at the end. Not unless you put it there.
One snowy Christmas young Prince Guy
Devoured a very large mince pie.
The silly prince though never looked
To check the pie was even cooked,
And so the pastry (soggy, raw),
All turned to goo and glued his jaw.
But did he moan and curse his luck
For having all this teeth thus stuck?
Oh no! That princeling, bold as brass,
Now simply speaks from out his…
One of my rare serious poems to kick off 2014.
I knead words.
Roll them, bend them, stretch them, mould them,
Break them, mend them, push them, hold them,
Be them – vital, raw – until
They open out and swell and spill
To fill a space once empty, wide,
Much larger than the words inside.
More complex, fuller, richer, rounder,
Brighter, life-filled, stronger, sounder.
I knead words.
Come, will you taste them?