Archive for August, 2012

August 27, 2012


Wellies, brollies, macs

Jellies, lollies, snacks

Sun hat and sweater

And then if it’s wetter

Some waterproof jackets

Some biscuits (twelve packets)

One pair of knickers

Some new sparkly stickers

Toothbrush and hairbrush

(That ‘can’t find it there’ brush)

Sweets for the car

(Are we there? Is it far?)

Swimming trunks, flippers

Some fluffy warm slippers

Bucket and spade

Some pink lemonade

Our four foot-high teddy

Don’t go – we’re not ready!

All our best toys

(All the ones that make noise)

Rollerblades, stilts

All our pillows and quilts

Notebook and pen

What? We’re leaving here when?

Crayons and scooter

Our mum’s new computer

Some soft cosy mittens

Our cat and her kittens

Plenty of wet wipes

To hide mucky faces

Here’s all our packing

Now where are those cases?

Lock up the door

Get the map for the route

There’s far too much luggage

To fit in the boot!

What can we do then?

Oh well, never mind.

We’ll just have to leave

Both our parents behind.











August 24, 2012

The Real Sleeping Beauty

I’ve slept here for one hundred years

And only get a kiss? Well, cheers!

Don’t just stand there, gawping, rude,

You silly prince – I need some food!

It’s been a rather lengthy dream,

So come on, eh, some nice ice-cream?

A cake? A burger in a bun?

Oh really, prince, you’re not much fun!

And look, I’m dying for the loo!

There’s not much chance of wedding you

If all you do is stand and blush.

So get a move on, princey, rush!


Oo, look at you! A fair princess?

Your face is foul, your hair’s a mess,

And since you’ve been asleep so long

You need a bath; you really pong.

And hey – there’s fungi on your toes,

And antique bogies up your nose,

And while you may not look too old

Your fingertips are sprouting mould.

In fact, I think I might decide

To take a goblin as a bride.

They’ve got more manners anyhow

Than you have; you ungrateful cow!


Oh shut up, prince, you little creep!

That’s it – I’m going back to sleep





August 20, 2012

What did I do to deserve this?

Can’t twist

Can’t turn

Can’t wriggle or squirm

Though I kick and I scream and I shout

I screech

I yell

I bite as well

But it seems that I can’t get out

I stand in my tights, and howl for my rights

I struggle, I strike, I protest

But despite my loud voice, I don’t have a choice

Mum’s putting me under a vest

August 16, 2012

Feeling Like Cake

Sit down, don’t frown, yes – over here

You say you feel like cake, my dear?

You look a bit like cake as well

(A doc like me can always tell)

But don’t be sad, don’t look so worried

Diagnoses can’t be hurried

Let’s do some tests, let’s not be hasty

(Mmmm, your head is rather tasty)

What was that? You yelped? You cried?

(Lots of sticky jam inside!)

A muffled scream inside my tum?

(Sugar sprinkles, yum, yum, yum)

Now one last thing – just test these legs

Yes, yes, the chef did whisk those eggs

I’m right; there can be no mistake

A simple case of ‘felt like cake’

August 13, 2012

Crossing Everything for the Race

I’ve crossed my fingers

I’ve crossed my eyes

Ha, ha! I’m going to win, you guys!

I’ve crossed my ankles

My elbows, my toes

I’ve crossed the nostrils

Up my nose

I’ve crossed my ears

My eyebrows, my teeth

The ones on top

And the ones underneath

I’ve crossed my nails

Along with one thumb

I’ve even tried

To cross my bum

I’m bound to win

With all this luck

Oh dear – I seem

A little…



August 10, 2012

The Short Farewell of the Pirate who Couldn’t Stay Awake

Go check

On deck

Oh heck!


Bye, neck


August 7, 2012

Spectator Sport (or Reflected Glory)

We’ve won! We’ve won! We’ve won the gold medal!

Look at our style, oh just see how we pedal!

The sleekest, the slickest

The fleetest, the fittest

We streak past like lightning

As tension is tightening

Like arrows we whoosh down the road and the track

And then turn as we blaze and we burn our way back

And – yes! – here’s the end and the victory’s ours!

We’re heroes! We’ve made it! We’re legends! We’re stars!

We’ve won the gold medal, we’ve won it – hooray!

And we’ve not even left this old sofa all day.



August 3, 2012

Ps & Qs

I’ve waited in this Q for hours

To get a cup of T

But O I wish they’d hurry up

I really need to P